Letter to my children:

As I sit here contemplating the changes ahead, I pause to reflect and recognize the "perfectness" of the world as it is right now. I know that the time for you to literally leave me is not for awhile, but each day I watch in amazement as you grow and mature and learn how to do more for yourself that I no longer have to do for you.

It's my job as your Mom to get you ready to face the world. And go on amazing adventures into the world. That means that you have to go away from me. And, I have to be OK with that, even though sitting here right now, it makes me sad.

You may not understand it now, but when you go, even though you're not looking my direction, you'll always feel me behind you, supporting you, and being there in case you fall.

But I want you to know these things before you go...

I remember the moment you all were born like it just happened a minute ago. This day was the most awesome and surreal day I've ever experienced. I only wish we'd have been able to spend more time together on that day but it is one that has made my life feel completely complete.

I come into your rooms at night and smell your heads. When you were babies, you smelled like this wonderfully sweet baby lotion. It went away when you were about two months old, but in my memory, I can still smell it every once in a while. Sometimes, just to reminisce, I'll put it on you after a bath. I know I caught your Nana putting some on one time, because she said the smell reminded her of the two of you.

I love your feet. I love that they look just like mine and no one else seems to share that trait but us. Your dad always says he hates them, but I think, secretly, its one of those things he'd never trade.

There is good in this world. There is also a lot of bad. I say a prayer every night that you are surrounded by the first and mercifully spared the second. You two are the treasures in my life and I would give my last breath on earth for each of you.

I yell too much and probably hug too little. I know that I get frustrated at bedtime and that it isn't fair that I'm grumpy when all you want is one more snuggle. I know that one day you'll want me to stop doing it, and then I'll be sad. I get to do this awesome thing like hang out with you two and then I complain about it. Sometimes moms forget how great it is because we're busy complaining and doing laundry. When I do that, just give me a really squishy kiss, OK?

I wish I could tell you exactly how much I love you. That it's wider than the sky and deeper than the ocean, and better than anything else in the whole world. And even though there are times I believe that I can throw anything away, I have two big boxes with each of your names hidden in the closet in the basement. Little mementos of you that my heart wants to keep forever.

You are the greatest thing that I have ever done, or will ever do, in my entire life. Tonight when you say your prayers, tell God that Mommy says Thank You. He'll know what I'm talking about.

Before you, I believed in the possibility of miracles. Because of you, I know they're real.

I love you more than anything...