The things "they" don't tell you...

*Disclaimer*- This entry is being written on about 4 hours of sleep and is brutally honest. I write it not to be coy or funny, but to be really honest about what taking care of children is really like. I am so tired of society wanting to pretend that caring for a baby is "fun" or "cool" and would like for us adults to honestly open up about what it was like to raise our children.

The Things "They" Don't Tell You
- Parenting is REALLY, REALLY hard...way harder than what you see on tv or even what you see when you see your friends or family members doing it. Even if you have a well tempered child who loves to sleep, it is amazing how quickly a total lack of sleep will catch up with you.

-Breastfeeding (aka Nursing) is not something that comes naturally or works for everyone. As an adult, I did lots of research before the girls were born and was well informed that "Breast is Best". What I was not prepared for was just how hard that task would be; especially as the mother of twins. We are told "it's natural" or given the impression that baby will know what to do. While that may be true in some cases, it wasn't in mine and I know many others who still struggle to "get it right". Breastfeeding is something you have to work at with LOTS of support, patience and desire. In the end, if you formula feed your child, they will survive...

-Even though you think you will have help, the child will always be primarily your responsibility. It will be on you (and if you're blessed, the child's other parent) to get up at night regardless of how tired you are, to care for them when they are sick when you are sick as well, to go to the store when you're out of milk and broke, go to work the next morning despite the stains on your shirt and the "fight" you had with the brush, and forgo many nights out with loved ones and friends because you can't afford a sitter and probably wouldn't be able to stay awake anyways.

-There are days you will HATE being a parent. We pray that the days we love it will outnumber those that suck, but the reality is, those days that suck will still happen.

-There will be times when it takes everything in you not to lash out and want to hurt your kids. This is something that has been so shocking to me. In raising twins, I have developed patience (with much blessing from The Lord, which I am thankful for daily) and the cognizance to know when to walk away. As a social worker I have had the misfortune to meet many children who's parents weren't so patient. It is extremely hard to walk away and a lot of guilt is felt thinking "Could I do something else? Could I do something different?" "Am I a bad parent?"


There are many more examples of things we don't share with others, and I'd like to talk about it. What has been most surprising to you as a parent? Any advice for those of us still "in the trenches"?